What do you call a midlife crisis that isn't a crisis?

posted by Jeff | Tuesday, January 26, 2016, 8:22 PM | comments: 0

Diana and I were talking the other day about what a "midlife crisis" is supposed to be. If you read something like the Wikipedia entry on it, it sounds like something terrible and negative. The stereotype is where you buy expensive cars, or get into hookers and blow. (She says she'll leave if I get into drugs, but didn't say anything about the hookers. Just kidding.)

In reality, I think that unless you hate your life, some of the things that you do as you approach midlife are more about the maturing process. For example, some may interpret someone leaving a "secure" job as a crisis, but why can't it just be a refocusing on things the person is interested in, or accepting that the old gig creates stress that they don't need? If someone decides to do an Ironman, that doesn't have to be a crisis, and maybe you do it because it's there. These are actions of a self-aware person, not someone in a panic to feel relevant or younger or something.

I find my own behavior and outlook to be changing, though it's hard to say if that's a function of age or being the parent of a young child in a thriving marriage. I'm really into being with my darling little family. I may not be typical, in that I'm more open to new experiences than I ever was at a younger age, instead of getting set in my ways (I largely credit Diana with this influence). OK, so maybe I want to do some stereotypical things like (finally) get a tattoo or something, but I feel like I'm having an awakening of sorts about what being a human being is all about. Life is rarely about missing the good old days (though I think I've seen more than my share of shit in life), and it's not about constantly looking forward to some ideal future state. It really is about how great the moment is right now. The next may not be as good.

No crisis here, just a better outlook.


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