That summer camp feeling

posted by Jeff | Saturday, March 18, 2017, 12:16 AM | comments: 0

I only went to summer camp once, and it was a camp that the City of Cleveland recreation division ran. It was the summer before grade nine, starting high school, and it was a weird thing where I was slowly feeling confident about my place in the world (until I moved to the suburbs and had to start over, later that year). I was at the upper end of the age for the camp, and most of us in my cabin were there because we had younger siblings there (though I don't recall actually ever encountering Jason during the stay). It was a fairly positive experience, and I suspect a great thing for the other inner-city kids.

The best parts were when we collaborated on stuff. I would experience this later in high school, when I would produce a TV recording for basketball, or record a show from the theater kids. In college, it's something we did with every TV show we produced, or my minor involvement in theater. I would repeat that experience after college doing government TV, and much later in collaborative situations as a software developer. There's something enormously fulfilling about putting together a "show" with other people, even when, like me, you straddle that line between introvert and extravert.

I recognize this phenomenon by proxy any time I see certain movie special features. The Oceans trilogy (with Clooney and Pitt) are big examples of this. The Pitch Perfect series also qualify (can't wait for the third one!). Any time you have a big ensemble cast, it seems like the general sentiment is, "Wow, we had such a good time making this!" It's probably true for any movie, but you don't generally get the testimonial of a random grip in the special features for a movie.

In my day job, leading software development, collaboration happens almost every day. Sometimes you even get away from it, and gather with the people, to have some important moments with your co-workers that lead to important new things (I had one of these the first night we were at SXSW, last week). There's something intoxicating about this process, where you get together with people and create something awesome. Looking back at my life, I'm kind of surprised at how infrequently this occurred, and how infrequently I made changes in recognition of this lack of awesomeness.

But it's funny how often I come back to the film variety of this. My darling wife, working in theater as a stage manager, got paid to make something awesome and connective happen with people every night. Can you imagine that? I recently met a new friend, an ex of my ex (this is why you should stay friends), who has been touring as part of the cast of Wicked for years. Watching him on the Facebook, it's staggering that this is what he gets to do for a living, and he's not even a little unappreciative about it. That's amazing.

For years now, I've put some pressure on myself to write something worth shooting, and haven't produced more than a page or two at any given time. But I want to do it, not really for the resulting art that I hope for, but more because I want to have that collaborative thing happen to make the art. Hopefully, one day, I'll have that idea, and I can gather my friends to make it happen.


A new quilting empire

posted by Jeff | Friday, March 17, 2017, 8:28 PM | comments: 0

My wife, Diana, is awesome for a great many reasons. When we moved to Seattle, following both of us getting laid-off in 2009 while getting pregnant, Diana decided that she would stick to being a mom for at least the short-term, since I was making more than enough money at Microsoft. Understand, that's a pretty bold move to make for someone who spent the previous 20+ years being largely self-sufficient. It turns out that this was a good decision for a great many reasons, not the least of which is that it allowed her to be super involved with Simon while some of his earlier challenges surfaced. That, in a lot of ways, is full-time work by itself. It wasn't until about two years ago (and change) that she started to work part-time again.

A little over four years ago, Diana decided that she wanted to become more serious about quilting. Sure, it's a hobby, but what I've learned is that even hobbies require excellent tools to do it right. That's why years ago I bought a decent camera and a decent video camera. Ditto for expensive computers used to write code. If you're a mechanic, you don't buy your tools at Walmart. (Sidebar: You might buy them at K-mart though, since they carry Craftsman, the Sears brand, which have been pretty solid for as long as I can remember. My socket set I've had for two and a half decades!) So she bought a really good sewing machine. Since then, with a lot of practice and an excellent tool, she's become pretty good at quilting. She made an amazing BB-8 quilt for Simon for his birthday.

Meanwhile, her blog is pretty well followed, literally by thousands, and when she goes to a conference, people know her. That's pretty cool. For some time, we've been talking about a long-arm machine, which allows you to free-motion the shit out of a quilt, without being constrained to the relative confinement of a traditional sewing machine. These things aren't cheap. However, Diana met a vendor at a conference, who was willing to sell the floor model for about $2k under the normal price. As it turns out, they oversold their units, so she got a completely new one for that price. Score!

Certainly something this expensive isn't viewed strictly as a hobby purchase, and she was motivated in part by the fact that she met someone who paid for one of their kids college tuition by renting out their skills on a long-arm to people who need big quilts quilted. The idea of getting paid for something you enjoy is not a hard sell, and I agreed that it would be worth it to purchase the machine. We don't have a business plan around this or anything, but if she can bang out a few paid gigs a year and it pays for itself over some arbitrary number of years, that's a pretty cool way to pay for a hobby! In all of the years I've been shooting video for fun, I've only made about $3k. That wouldn't even pay for one of the two cameras I've owned at various times.

Diana is part artist, which you would expect for someone who pursued a career as a stage manager. I love that she gets to do this now, regardless of whether or not the cost of the machine is ever entirely paid for. It's amazing how quilts touch people. I'm glad that I get to be the supportive husband in this case. I like to brag, a little, about her.


Parenting and exhaustion from clinical experts

posted by Jeff | Friday, March 17, 2017, 7:07 PM | comments: 0

When Simon was diagnosed with ASD, I felt like it was just confirmation of a suspicion. I felt like it explained a lot of his behavior, and set him up with success after a lot of therapy and some great teachers.

This year, however, it was apparent that not everything was clicking at school. The district's previous evaluation was that he no longer needed services around the ASD. Various experts and therapists since that time all seem to conclude that the ASD is not a visible challenge, and I'm starting to come around to the idea that it makes sense. For all the time and money spent on therapy and the earlier developmental challenges, we would hope that he can cope with some of those challenges. The occasional meltdown aside, I think he's adapted pretty well with most (but not all) things. He still struggles with social contracts. (Just now: "Simon, you're pretty good at that." "Yes, I know I am.")

Then comes the ADHD diagnosis. I've read the stories from parents, where the immediate recommendation is, "Medicate!" I wasn't crazy about this, because thinking about ASD and projecting my own experience on to him, I just figured that when it comes to school, he doesn't do what doesn't interest him. Still, it made a difference for Simon's cousin, and so he was prescribed an extremely low dose of a relatively new med. Aside from a few instances of him being super highly focused on completing tasks (in an autistic way, I would add), and not being able to turn off his brain, the results in school have been positive. It seems to help.

The most recent concerns, however, center around speech and expressive language, and in particular an issue where he gets overwhelmed by information and doesn't parse out the less relevant parts. Also, he seems to suffer from anxiety around the desire to get it all right, right away. This has manifest itself in art class when he can't draw what he wants, or at home when he must use a ruler to make perfect lines for underlining.

Now take all of this in when you're just trying to get the kid to eat at dinner and not try to snack all night, or get him to take a shower in a reasonable time frame. It's exhausting. I feel like every expert sees the thing that they're looking for, and I'm very cautious about the idea that medicine is the go-to option without therapy. Mostly, I'm just tired of hearing about all of the ways that Simon isn't perfect. I miss the simpler days of him just needing to catch up a little on motor skills or vocabulary.

If there's any bright spot, it's that I can see extraordinary intelligence in our little boy. He's very into examining physics and mechanical things. Heck, even when he plays Planet Coaster on the computer, he likes to zoom in and look at the systems of brakes and motors and things. The challenge, I think, hasn't changed since the autism concerns: We need to do our best to figure out how his wiring best connects to the ability to learn. It's hard for me to stay focused on that when everyone is looking for the next problem.


My 2017 SXSW experience

posted by Jeff | Wednesday, March 15, 2017, 12:30 PM | comments: 0

I've always had a recreational desire to go to South by Southwest (does anyone actually spell it out in print?), but I've never been able to make a business case for going. This time around, my employer could, for the purpose of getting our distributed team together and being around a lot of people and things that offer inspiration. Who am I to argue with that?

We were there for the interactive part (the others being film and music), and my initial self-direction was to seek out as much as I could that was relevant to my job. This, as it turns out, wasn't a great strategy, because the relevant stuff didn't go very far in the weeds and wasn't really ripe with new information. As a result, half of the stuff I went to was not particularly valuable to me. However, there were other things that I went to that energized me and even blew my mind. I saw Joe Biden talk about cancer research, the editor of the New York Times talk about journalism and Senator Cory Booker talk about the need to focus on love. Hopefully they'll release the video with Mark Cuban, because I hear that was good, too. I saw a talk about online activism that really got me thinking.

What I should have done was spend more time looking at the massive schedule, outside of the tracks that I thought I should focus on. Turns out amazing people like Kerri Walsh Jennings were there, and I didn't realize it. In some ways, that might be the fault of the entire event, that it tends to want to be all things to all people. It's spread out across dozens of venues. The low-quality stuff ends up taking space, and I spent almost as much time queueing for things as I did seeing things. It seems to me that they should book half of the content in bigger rooms so more people get to see what they want to see. Not everything is recorded, either, so there's no way to see it after the fact.

The fact that the hotels and restaurants price gouge leaves a bad taste in my mouth too. I get it, that's capitalism, but doubling your price for breakfast just because you know you can feels gross. The people of Austin seem generally welcoming, but that part doesn't feel good at all.

Still, I don't want to suggest that it isn't worth going. As is the case with most conferences, the conversations you have in the hall are where it's really at. Heck, in my case, those conversations lasted all the way back to MCO, where I had a chance to talk with the mayor of Orlando and his staff (he was at SXSW for a talk on domestic terrorism). Indeed, I talked to people in similar businesses, activists, nerds, artists and even one relative from Ohio that happened to be there. As for my team, we had one conversation in particular that seemed like a breakthrough moment that will help shape our product going forward. That's pretty exciting.

I'm not sure if I'm in any hurry to go back next year, but at some point, yes, I'm sure I'll be back.


The success of the failing New York Times

posted by Jeff | Monday, March 13, 2017, 3:02 PM | comments: 0

I saw a really excellent session yesterday at SXSW called "Covering POTUS: A Conversation with the failing New York Times." Snarky title aside, this was a conversation between Executive Editor Dean Baquet and Media Columnist Jim Rutenberg about the role of the press in democracy, the evolving business model of newspapers and the quality of journalism. It was pretty fascinating stuff, and I walked away feeling that the institutions are actually in pretty good shape, even if not everyone sees it that way.

Baquet started by talking a bit about the business of having a newspaper, which is less about the physical paper every year. It has been reported elsewhere (along with broader implications of its evolution), but the NYT has been making a slow and painful transition from an advertising driven business to a subscriber driven business. That's a pretty terrible situation to be in, because a great many people are so used to stuff online being free. But Baquet insisted that they would staff the right amount of reporters when and where it mattered. The structure of the editorial staff looks a lot different now (most notably a lack of mid-level editors), but they've turned a corner and right-sized it.

Naturally, they have to talk about Trump, and how to report on him. It's not surprisingly complicated, in their eye. You report what he does, truthfully. I was amused by the audience question about bias, because as Baquet pointed out, the paper was accused of the same harsh treatment by the Sanders and Clinton campaigns last year, more even than the Trump campaign. Indeed, using the press as a scapegoat is not the exclusive domain of the right.

Baquet seemed to be particularly proud of their investigative work, and mentioned that they've hired several "well known" investigative journalists in the last year. The Times was the paper that found the only public record of Trump's taxes, the questionable dealings of his charity, and a number of stories about his interactions with women. They went the deepest over email and Benghazi as well (without finding particularly damning stuff, because it didn't exist).

One of the things that really stuck with me was that he was asked about how journalism is defined, and despite saying he was uncomfortable being the authority on that subject, he generalized that it was the careful pursuit of truth. In that context, he named BuzzFeed News (their news division, not the link bait farm), as the real thing, but definitely not something like Breitbart, which deals only in self-serving propaganda. I don't think that goes far enough, as the pursuit of truth is the guiding principle, but there's more to it than that. Perhaps a related issue is that a lot of journalism gets buried inside of punditry, which is frankly not useful at all.

Since my degree is in journalism (double-majored in radio/TV and journalism), I've always had a love for the profession even if I never practiced it professionally. Newsworthiness and attribution is the thing that I feel news, or things being called news, get wrong much of the time, and not having the broader editorial systems of the past I think are part of the problem. But to suggest that there isn't "real" journalism going on is false. The NYT doesn't get it all right, all of the time, but the intent is correct and solid.


The usefulness and destructive power of generalizations

posted by Jeff | Saturday, March 11, 2017, 4:00 PM | comments: 0

I'm at SXSW this weekend, and it has been an interesting experience so far. (I had a Twitter interaction with Cory Booker!) The conference is, in the general sense, one targeted toward creative endeavors, but when it intersects with technology, I'm disappointed with the way many of the speakers put up walls between "creative" and "technical" things and people. It annoys me. It makes a lot of generalizations about the type of people who are one or the other, and what their abilities are.

I don't care much for generalizations. In fact, I would say that generalizations are bad, but of course this means that I am making a generalization myself. This is ironic or meta or something, that generalizations can't be generalized. Not wanting to be a hypocrite, I had to force myself to overcome my own generalization about generalizations.

It isn't hard to see where generalizations are useful, especially in business. If you have a product that is used by people with similar traits, then understanding who they generally are and what they generally need makes it easier to craft the product for them, not to mention sell to them. There are a lot of similar veins in this concept, that the better you can understand a large body of people or things, the better equipped you are to interact with it.

That said, I absolutely despise the strict categorization and classification of people in business, and especially in technology. This conference talks about design quite a bit, and while every speaker (for some reason) wants to define it, the way it's applied is crappy. There is a sentiment that you can be a good designer, or a good programmer, but not both. Others believe you can be a great manager, or great individual contributor, but not both. You can be a great analyst, or a great programmer. You get the idea.

Here's why this sucks: You are artificially limiting the capability of someone based on their strengths or personalities at a given moment in time. It also sucks because you're suggesting, "You can't do that because you aren't smart enough (or good enough or gosh darn it people like you). Without even getting to the fact that this may offend someone, you have placed them in a box and set an expectation now. You have disincentivized someone to expand their abilities and skills into a new area.

Is this really what you want? Someone who doesn't want to be better at more things? I can tell you for sure that I want developers who get design, and designers who get developing. They don't have to be all-stars at both ends, but I certainly don't want to put artificial constraints them that limit personal growth and collaboration. Let's not generalize about people like that. 


Simon at 7: A year in photos

posted by Jeff | Sunday, March 5, 2017, 9:06 PM | comments: 0

Today was Simon's 7th birthday, and we celebrated all weekend. As it turns out, we kind of subconsciously adopted the "experiences not stuff" theme for his birthday, spending money on activities that he'll hopefully remember instead of toys that he may play with for a short period of time. He still did acquire quite a bit of Lego from various people, but what he kept asking for was to do things. Diana found a wonderful and inexpensive local place with a mini-golf course, and we had his friends there for a party.

I haven't had the good camera out much this year, and no "photo shoots," which I kind of regret. I used to do these little photo retrospectives every year, but got out of the habit. He's getting older so fast. In any case, here are a few photos from the last year...

This is just a week ago, when we rented a little boat out on the Seven Seas Lagoon and Bay Lake. It's one of those things that has always been here, but we never did it. He was terrified until we had some lunch and talked through it, but of course, a few minutes in, he loved it.

OK, so yes, it's looking at Simon from behind, but this was a special moment for him. This was on a three-night cruise, and we happened to be there when they were sealing the doors just before we left port. The officer that invited him to see it was Officer Simon, from the UK. This sort of thing appeals to his mechanical interests.

After living in Florida for more than three years, we finally figured out that, yes, we can go to the beach the day after Christmas. This year, we did. The little boy who wouldn't even walk in the sand without shoes a few years ago is now willing to be buried in it.

My BFF got married this year, and in addition to me being a "bridesbro," Simon got to be the ring bearer. He did a great job helping with the flower girl, and stood up there for the whole 20 minutes, like a pro. (I didn't take the picture.)

Simon is a little obsessed with elevators. He's also pretty excited to visit the Dr. Phillips Center, where mom works front of house. This led to an invitation for him to volunteer as "elevator captain" for a kids show there, and it pretty much made his life. Yes, he even had a name tag.

There are a lot of things about Simon's life that are extraordinary, and while not knowing a world without the Internet is certainly an obvious future fro him, he's also growing up not remembering having a gasoline car. This was a stop in Tifton, Georgia, on the way up to Nana and Papa's for their wedding. Normally we would go up the coast to North Carolina, but Hurricane Matthew was chasing us.

This is the year that Simon started to get Lego building in a non-trivial way. I think his spacial perception was probably pretty good, but his fine motor skills have been a struggle. Something clicked.

Taking a significant vacation felt like something of a risk, I guess because you never know how well a kid will remember a trip, or whether or not it's a big deal. On the other hand, I'll remember it, and sailing the fjords around the inner passages of Alaska with my little guy was unforgettable. If that wasn't amazing enough, Simon met some lovely kids from Hawaii while playing shuffleboard. In Alaska. I don't know how to teach him that this is amazing.

We don't go to Walt Disney World as much as we used to, because it just isn't that easy when school is in session and there's a bed time involved. My patience for Magic Kingdom in particular is stretched thin because of the crowds and having to take transportation after parking. Still, a stop at the Kingdom often means a stop at the Polynesian Village Resort, and the Pineapple Lanai for Dolewhip. In a sign that his teen years are getting closer, he can now put away an entire float by himself.

This is why I should get the camera out more often. Simon played rec league soccer this year. He wasn't very good at it, didn't seem to take the coaching very well, but he seemed to have a good time with the other kids. (He got a participation trophy. Groan.) Unfortunately, he didn't like tennis as much.

If you live in Florida, rockets can be a part of your life. He has seen a number of launches now, both at the cape and from home, and we always watch the streaming feed when we can. This little air powered rocket captured his imagination for a bit.

This is my favorite picture of him this year. We did two cruises with our Seattle family this year, and it helped with my biggest regret about moving away from there: He doesn't get to see his cousins very often, when they used to be down the street. This was aboard the Magic on a really lovely 4-night cruise. Pirate night, of course!


Dotcom unicorns are still a thing

posted by Jeff | Thursday, March 2, 2017, 11:08 PM | comments: 0

Do you remember 2000, when all of these crazy Internet companies were going on about the "eyeballs" they had? None of them really had a viable business model, and most of them are gone now. You remember, right? Pets.com, eToys, Infospace, Webvan, etc. There was a secondary boom in the mid to late oughts, where companies dropped vowels from their names, and VC's threw millions at startups with the latest app in hopes of finding a unicorn.

Sometimes this works out, and sometimes the company will even go public, though that's a rarity these days. But we had a unicorn today... Snapchat went public, and it's now worth $30 billion. Even if you don't use it, you probably know what it is, the ephemeral chat app that teens use to send each other nudies. I guess some people over 30 use it, but it definitely skews young. I don't know why the world needs so many chat apps, even one that forgets, but deciding it's worth $30 billion is insane. Keep in mind, they lost a half-billions last year, and by their own IPO filing, declared that they might never be profitable. If there's a viable business model relative to the insane amount of money they're spending, no one knows what it is.

Let that soak in for a minute. Thirty. Billion.

A lot of people got rich today, which is no small achievement. It just doesn't feel like it's based on anything.

After working in technology for this entire time, it seems like the obsession over unicorns hasn't subsided. The number of technology companies that have managed to stick around and become household names is not large. And yet, this whole system of venture capital feeding projects, I wouldn't even call them businesses, seems inefficient and wasteful.

What can I say, I'm biased because I've always beat the Basecamp (formerly 37signals) drum, a company that built something sustainable with its own money, going strong for 17 years. Now I work for a small company that is also bootstrapped, has a viable business plan and is creating something valuable and inspiring for its customers. That's pretty exciting to me. I think that's the engine that really feeds the economy in the broader sense... small companies that solve problems and grow at a rational and sustainable rate. Maybe they even level off at some point, but if they don't go public, that's OK. 


You can't manage children

posted by Jeff | Wednesday, March 1, 2017, 10:56 PM | comments: 0

If there's anything funny about living next door to Walt Disney World, it's to think of my visits there long before we lived here, and before we had Simon. Diana and I would see all of the kids and wonder what ours might look like, and not knowing if the plumbing worked, we were always warmed by seeing parents who adopted. I'm not proud to say that I also was super judgy toward parents who seemed incapable of "controlling" their kids, presumably because of some fundamental parenting failure. Yeah, so when I would be standing on the monorail platform with a kid melting down because we weren't going to ride in the first car (chalking that up to ASD), I felt like a real dick for even having those perceptions of parents back in the day.

As Simon turns 7 this weekend, I've certainly come around to the fact that you just don't know the situation that other parents have. It's not just that I sometimes question my own parenting abilities, it's that there are too many environmental and developmental variables to possibly know how things are going to go. Every kid is different, so even if you have more than one, there's no guarantee that everything you learned about the first will apply to the subsequent kids. You just have to figure it out.

There's still one thing that I get judgmental about though, and that's the idea that you can manage your kids. This isn't prompted by any particular observation of anyone in particular, but I do recall seeing it a little in my coaching days, and an article I read recently about directing you kids to certain things (as a means for long-term success) made me think about it. By "manage," I mean treat them in the way that you would a business unit or professional relationship. In those situations, motivations and situational context tends to be far easier to define. When it comes to your kids, a lot of the time it seems impossible.

Concrete example: You want your kid to limit some particular activity for some arbitrary reason. The problem is that your arbitrary reason likely has nothing to do with the desire to perform the activity. We tend to forget that the "problems" of a child seem insignificant compared to our grownup problems, but they have nothing else to compare to. I struggle with this all of the time. I'm quick to invalidate because even the most fundamental problems of having to provide for my family seem enormous compared to Simon's need to have a snack before bed, but to him, they're the same level of importance.

In the broader sense, it's the kind of thing they always show in the movies, where Dad is busy and important and directs the children to adhere to some structure and the nanny's direction or whatever, but sometimes they just need their father. Or Neil's father in Dead Poets Society. That guy was a dick.

I'm not saying that you don't set limits for kids, but I do think it's important to think about what makes them do what they do. You can't manage their motivation away, and I think it's important to try and understand it and acknowledge it, even when setting limits.


When you can't take it anymore

posted by Jeff | Wednesday, March 1, 2017, 10:24 PM | comments: 0

Because social media never let's you forget, today was the four-year anniversary of a day that set up every day since. I had been working a new job for barely two months when I felt like my integrity and happiness was circling the drain. It was a bad scene, where I was being asked to lie to customers, and felt lied to about the true potential for the job. Throw another miserable Midwest winter, and I was pretty much at my limit. It felt like 2009, only with more options.

I bailed on that job, started banking money from a boring but high-income contract gig, and we made plans. They started vague: Move somewhere with better weather, eventually get a job doing what I wanted (emphasize "eventually"). In four months, that led us to Central Florida and a one-year contract at a theme park company. Our story since that time, at least professionally and meteorologically, has been extraordinary.

You know how people say that sometimes you need to be in a really dark place to really understand what it means to be happy? I equate that to the bullshit suggestion that everything happens for a reason and want to punch those people in the balls. OK, not really, I don't want to hit anyone. But I would adapt the theory to say that sometimes you need to be pushed to certain limits before you're ready to make a change. That February, in 2013, I think I was reaching that limit. The icky feelings were powerful motivators.

I don't know why we as humans tend to wallow in a bad situation as long as we do. We stay in toxic relationships, jobs that suck our souls, or whatever, as if we're building character or will be awarded some badge of courage for taking a little abuse. I'm not saying that we shouldn't expect a little of it from time to time, because that is life, but when it forms into a long-term pattern, we've gotta make changes. For me, life has proven this routinely on 4-year-cycles since I entered adulthood.

Until this year.

Now it seems that I've realized that the opportunity to make smaller, more frequent adjustments, is a better way to operate. Maybe this is just growing up (it sure took long enough!), or maybe I've cracked the code for myself. It could be me applying my software development lifecycle skills to life, because I've worked in environments where we make lots of frequent, smaller changes for more than a decade. Whatever it is, I don't foresee any dramatic changes coming this year.

But if you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make that change. (Ugh, yeah, I went there.)


I needed a dad win today

posted by Jeff | Saturday, February 25, 2017, 8:10 PM | comments: 1

Social media is not, to say the least, the most honest representation of the people who use it. I'm sure that some people genuinely want to portray their lives as awesome as a means of over-compensating, but I think most people just don't want to share a ton of the dark and scary stuff. I'm definitely in that second category. I used to air a lot more of my silliest complaints online, but I don't do it anymore.

However, the last few months have been challenging for me as a father. I'm very sensitive about being Simon's dad, probably because I never had an ideal father situation myself. My step-father was a good man who provided for us, but he didn't take a very active interest in much of anything I did. My biological father only had us one weekend a month at best, so he wasn't hands-on either. I suppose that maybe I'm over-compensating, but I want to get it right for my only child.

He's closing in on 7, in about a week and change, and while it hasn't been easy, it has usually been amazing. Lately it feels less easy, and I find myself being short with him, and reacting emotionally over things that I shouldn't. I catch myself being annoyed with him over things that kids find important. Unimportant things that he does can make me angry, and I can't even explain why. It's not that I want him to live without discipline or not work out difficult situations on his own, but I also don't want to be a douche.

While his challenges with ASD are something I feel comfortable rolling with, now we have a recent ADHD diagnosis to contend with. I felt like this was controversial, because I tend to project my own indifference toward things I don't want to do as his challenge, but the initial low dose of meds seem to be having a positive effect at school, but sometimes a negative impact when his ASD side absolutely must complete or do a certain thing (he can't stop thinking about it). The interesting thing is that his expressive language, which his eval and teacher said was a concern, seems to be amped up with the amphetamines.

With Diana out for the weekend at a quilting conference, this seemed like a good chance to bond with my mini-me, and today was a total win. I let him start the day with some computer time (he's kind of obsessed with Planet Coaster), and he was cooperative about stopping when the timer went off. Next, despite some initial fear that was leading me down the path of feeling defeated, we had some lunch at the Polynesian Village Resort then rented a boat to tool around the Seven Seas Lagoon and Bay Lake. Once he felt secure, this turned out to be a great time, and it wasn't even that expensive (with passholder discount) relative to other touristy things we can do around town. After that, we had a nice afternoon at Epcot, enjoying Soarin' and a few of his other favorites. Of course we ended our day out with Dolewhip. He was fantastic, all day, start to finish, and I was able to handle every issue he had successfully.

I needed a day like this.

My friends are often quick to tell me that we're good parents, and that we're doing a good job, but while I appreciate the encouragement, I don't always feel like I'm doing it right. Too many of those days, and you start to have real doubts. I'm generally OK with failing at stuff, but parenting seems too important to get it wrong.


Reminder: Unplug

posted by Jeff | Friday, February 24, 2017, 8:27 PM | comments: 0

I had a pretty great week at work, and felt the most accomplished I have in awhile. Along with the last few weeks, which were less fun, I've been really plugged in and putting in a bit of extra time. I'm feeling a little spent, though the results are worth it.

As much as I complain about people having a disregard for history, and making the same mistakes over and over again, I do it too. When I fully commit to getting to a certain place, I tend to forget that at some point I need to unplug and back away for a bit. That's me right now. With Diana gone for the weekend and Simon in bed, my first thought was, "Hey, why don't I read up on these technologies and maybe play with them a bit." No! It's time to do something that isn't related to work, to use some other muscles (even if it's the one where I do nothing).

I make fun of type-A people, I guess because they engage in non-sustainable behavior, but every once in awhile, I catch myself being like that. It's like that first six months I lived in Florida, going at it non-stop, without a vacation or a real break from it all. No wonder I was so tweaked out then (the house financing thing didn't help).

So this weekend, I will do my best to stick to recreation. You've gotta unplug now and then.


Investing in yourself pays

posted by Jeff | Thursday, February 23, 2017, 10:28 PM | comments: 0

I've been having an amazing week at work, onboarding a new hire (and feeling pretty good about getting it right), working on hiring another, and having good moments with my team. I'm also getting set to speak again at Orlando Code Camp in April, and I'm doing a talk on hiring and getting hired. It got me to thinking about the tear I've been on for the last eight years, and how it started.

While 2009 was a terrible year to find work in my field while living in Cleveland, and that caused a ton of anxiety, it ended up being awesome when it was all said and done. That summer was fun because I was making enough money on my sites to sustain me and more than cover my mortgage. The economy may have sucked, but ad revenue was good in those days. More importantly, the involuntary time off gave me a chance to invest in myself. That was a huge turning point for me. It was the year I actively started managing my career instead of letting it happen to me. It ended with me moving to Seattle on Microsoft's dime.

Almost eight years later, I remember the job anxiety, but mostly I remember how much I was learning. I was like a sponge. I certainly had the time, so I did my best to dig in and learn all that I could about the emerging technologies and patterns that would make me better at what I did. There is no question in my mind that these actions are what set me up for years of success from then on. (I made a cosmically stupid decision to move back to Cleveland in the middle of all that, but one of these days I'll let that go.)

This brief walk down amnesia lane is relevant to the talk I have to give, and I don't think it applies to just my field. Investing in yourself, really spending the time to learn new things, will have incredible return on investment. I'm not talking about doing things for yourself, I'm talking about doing the work to make yourself better. It's not even something to narrow in scope to your career. You can learn virtually anything, and that includes being a better parent and a spouse. The results are tangible.


Forming opinions without knowledge

posted by Jeff | Wednesday, February 22, 2017, 11:07 PM | comments: 0

I've spent a lot of time lately wondering why it is that I don't write as much as I used to. Prior to 2013, it wasn't uncommon that I would write a blog post almost every day. I love writing. I've always loved it. I think part of it was the change in circumstance that came that year, with the move to Orange County, along with generally higher job engagement that has continued ever since that time. The last three years and change have been the most productive professionally of my life. I also find myself being more engaged with my boy, as he's old enough now that you can have conversations and do more stuff together. So collectively, I don't think I have the mental bandwidth for as much writing.

While these are contributing factors to writing less, I'm also become more aware of the fact that I'm not in as much of a hurry to publish my opinions. I've written before that this might be because I don't find them valuable, or because there is enough noise on the Internet without me contributing to it, but it's something else. In the general sense, I don't feel like my opinions are formed enough to share because I don't have enough knowledge to support them. This is a big deal, because I've generally been indiscriminate about saying what I think. OK, so I still am that way, but a drive-by social media post isn't the same as the way I write here.

This self-awareness has been augmented in the last year in part by a renewed appreciation for science, and a new interest in history. I'm the guy who has been saying for years that the availability of all the world's knowledge on the Internet is largely squandered by people who have no interest in it, but I've probably been hypocritical about that to a degree.

Politically, I still find myself being more centrist than perhaps it appears, but really, I may not entirely agree with a guy who wants to give away free college and healthcare to everyone, but it's easier to get in that corner than one that advocates discrimination. While I'm not as quick to form opinions, and wish to generally consider more data, I can still consider a very short list of moral absolutes. Killing people is bad, for example, and I see no logical reason to ever tolerate discrimination of people based on race, ethnicity, gender, religion, sexual or gender identity, etc. But beyond that, it's hard to adopt any particular broad ideology.

There are still a lot of things I want to write about, but I haven't thought them through. So many parenting topics, comedy and politics, technology, energy, career, code... I have to get it out. For now, stuff isn't well-formed enough.


Project Fi is Fi-a-licious

posted by Jeff | Monday, February 20, 2017, 10:37 PM | comments: 0

Back in December, when I decided to unnecessarily purchase a Pixel phone, I wrote about how we were also switching from AT&T to Google's Project Fi, the pseudo-carrier that actually works on the networks of T-Mobile, Sprint and US Cellular (and WiFi if you've got it). There's a lot of talk in the press right now about the sudden unlimited data wars now between the big carriers, which are actually not a terrible deal, but we're still making out pretty well on Fi, and this is why.

We're not big data users. I work from home, Diana works part-time, and we're pretty much always around WiFi. Our local cable company has access points almost everywhere, too, so I find myself on WiFi even when I'm not looking for it. We're not going out of our way to really measure our cellular data usage, but we didn't use much when we had 15 gigs pooled to play with on AT&T. Now that we've had a full month both on the new service, using about 1.4 gigs combined, we paid all of $56 for the two lines, including all taxes and fees. That's not bad. On AT&T, we would have been paying about $95 when it was all done.

The WiFi calling has been a huge plus. Florida houses are practically Faraday cages, because they're concrete on the lower floor and lined with foil. It doesn't matter who your carrier is, the signal isn't good unless you're by a window. Google's network foo generally works well in that sense, though there have been a few odd times where the signal was too weak and it didn't fallback on WiFi, so I've missed one call. It was spam anyway. Sometimes, I just put the phone in airplane mode and turn on the WiFi at home, which works very well, and the call quality is a miracle. Oh, it's nice to use Android's native visual voicemail, too, for those annoying times when someone leaves a message. The transcription is surprisingly accurate, too.

I have to mention the international support. It just works. We were in the Bahamas a few weekends ago on a Disney cruise, and at Castaway Cay, we had a nice strong 3G connection that was more than adequate for posting selfies on the beach and backing up photos. The Fi app greets you on the new network, tells you what the rates are (unlimited texts, 20 cents/minute for voice calls, data at the same rate as the US). That's pretty cool. I was very impressed. And again, even in that vacation situation, we still paid the $56 for the month.

I have hit some spots that weren't super strong for cellular signal, but they were rural places where no network is great. When we were on the far side of the dunes at the Canaveral National Seashore, it was tough to get a signal, but it's unsurprising because of how far "out there" you are. Everywhere else, like downtown Orlando, Delray or even The Villages has been fine. WDW is covered pretty well too, though they have free WiFi everywhere.

Overall, we've been really happy with the service. I like the little widget their app comes with too, with a circular data usage meter. Almost a week into this month and we've only used .18 gigs. I realize for big data users, this is likely totally inadequate, at $10/gig, but this suits us fine. I think competition is finally driving prices down, though I wonder how that will go during the 5G rollouts a few years from now.


Revisiting the politics of fear and the common enemy

posted by Jeff | Saturday, February 18, 2017, 7:32 PM | comments: 0

I've written before about how fear seems to be at the core of American politics in recent years. As I've said, this is not something that is the exclusive domain of either side. While the focus now is on the right's desire to make sure you're scared of brown people and the extraordinary threat they pose to you, the left wants you to be scared of rich people and your own inevitable financial ruin. Scared people have a strong tendency to get beyond people that say they can protect you from the threats, but beyond the fear, what they're really doing is gathering support to confront a common enemy, real or not.

Donald Trump has managed to turn this into an art form, and takes it one step beyond the common enemy. He has learned to identify the enemy, and then blame that enemy for his own failures. This isn't a new tactic, certainly, as taking responsibility for anything isn't really his thing. It's awfully convenient now that the new enemy to unite against is the press, because in his mind, they are the reason there's a perception that he's not doing particularly well. I thought that participation trophies were the exclusive domain of bed-wetting liberals, but apparently not.

This isn't the end of the scapegoating, however. Even Fox "News" is starting to turn on Trump. Congress, even the GOP side of the aisle, will not be far behind. At that point, it won't just be the press, it will be Congress that is the enemy. The judiciary is already the enemy.

We have to do better than this. The right will have us believe that we're more likely to be killed by a terrorist than win the lottery, when the reverse is true. The response is not logical. We can't let the other side have us believe that financial success is the result of nefarious intent either. We get the government we deserve when we allow these ridiculous fear-based policies dominate our politics. Identifying an enemy is not the thing that makes us better. Identifying a problem and objectively looking for solutions is what makes us better.


A new found love for American history

posted by Jeff | Thursday, February 16, 2017, 4:30 PM | comments: 0

I read an interview recently with some prominent anthropologist and historian who explained why humanity has managed to keep a pretty consistent cycle of destroying itself periodically. He was basically validating the theory that history tends to repeat itself, and he explained why. Generally, the worst of human action is spaced out by several generations, and he suggested that this is why the "war to end all wars" was not, in fact, the last world war, or any war for that matter. He said that as the reality of human suffering becomes less distributed and separated by more generations, we simply forget about it and do dumb things, oblivious to history. Another story I read made the point that the Internet may have changed that, but it's hard to say if it makes things deteriorate or get better faster. On on hand, information is freer than ever, but on the other hand, humans have a strange desire to live in willful ignorance.

Bright and cheery thoughts, right? Regardless, this fascinates me in part because one could argue that history can serve as a way to both predict a possible future and absorb some serious knowledge. Of course, there's a certain historical musical that no one has ever head of (wink, nudge) that obviously has sparked a great interest in American history. I've been reading the Chernow biography of Alexander Hamilton, and I can't wait to read his George Washington book as well. Going deeper than the superficial stuff that you might get to learn in high school (if you got anything out of it at all) has been extraordinary. The United States almost never came to be, and if we're being honest, the founding fathers were kind of a bunch of dicks. They were brilliant, well-intentioned people, certainly, but they weren't people I'd go get a beer with. They kind of gloss over in school that Washington was a slave owner, you know? The self-evident truths were a lot of talk that didn't extend far beyond white men who didn't want to be accountable to the king, unfortunately.

Despite the character issues, they got it more right than wrong, and it took a fair amount of humility to leave space for the Constitution to be changed and improved. There's no question that the gears of progress have been painfully slow, and even after the abolishment of slavery and granting women the right to vote, filling in the blanks took entirely too long, and it's not finished. It's staggering to think that Jim Crow laws were still a thing until a few years before I was born. That's nuts. Still, when I read some of the theory behind the structure of the US government, I can see how things moving faster could have disastrous consequences. Washington may have had slaves, but the humility he exhibited in his farewell address is brilliant:

"Though, in reviewing the incidents of my administration, I am unconscious of intentional error, I am nevertheless too sensible of my defects not to think it probable that I may have committed many errors. Whatever they may be, I fervently beseech the Almighty to avert or mitigate the evils to which they may tend. I shall also carry with me the hope that my country will never cease to view them with indulgence; and that, after forty five years of my life dedicated to its service with an upright zeal, the faults of incompetent abilities will be consigned to oblivion, as myself must soon be to the mansions of rest."

Which leads to the present. Equality for the LGBT community was a slow-moving train as well, then, in the span of a few years, the marriage issue was settled. We've gone from an arbitrary war on drugs to the legalization of weed in a few years. I'm not particularly interested in it, but I've been swayed and understand now how destructive the fake war was. Now I see a slow awakening around carbon and energy policy, and I think that's going to blow up next. Information, history, knowledge can drive people forward if they choose to see it.

American history, and really world history, has been pretty much on the better side of what humans are capable of, and the cycles of suck do seem to get shorter over time. In a bizarre time when indifference and apathy has led us to the hottest mess of government I've seen in my lifetime, it's that historical context that I lean on. The American way has been one of persistence, and I hope we can keep that up.


Packages, libraries and frameworks, oh my!

posted by Jeff | Tuesday, February 14, 2017, 8:12 PM | comments: 0

Last night I wrapped up about 16-ish development hours rewriting and refactoring some code used to integrate with a third-party service. (Actually, I spent double that time, but the other half was spent on a lot of peripheral refactoring and unit testing, as well as significant changes to the feature set.) The TL;DR version is that the previous integration work used an open source library that didn't quite do things right in wrapping a REST service, so a lot of the normal kinds of failures you expect to get were difficult to get instrumentation around. I completely dropped the dependency on that library. Now it works, works fast and fails in a predictable and observable way. Hopefully my team and customers will be happier for it.

Interestingly, the dev team of the product we're integrating with once wrote a blog post suggesting that you really don't need a library, SDK or whatever wrapped around their API, because REST is pretty simple. There was a time when I might have said that I also wasn't interested in reinventing stuff, but I've eventually come around to see their point. In fact, as much as I've embraced the open source world and taken shortcuts to reach my destination faster, I've come to realize that this conflicts to some degree with my hiring philosophy.

I can't stand the developer types that think that quizzing people on encyclopedic knowledge of algorithms and design patterns is a good use of time. Sure, you should have a good understanding of how HTTP works, but I don't care if you remember what SOLID stands for as long as you practice it. I'm absolutely in the column of putting a candidate through a coding exercise, and I don't care what they need to do to arrive at the end product, because it's that journey that I'm most interested in. The most valuable developers, in a world of managed code and countless open source projects, are the ones that can skillfully compose solutions in a way that makes the product maintainable, extensible and scaleable. If they have to get all over StackOverflow to do that, I don't care, so long as they thoughtfully compose and don't just cut-and-paste.

That brings me back to my point about dependencies. Packages, libraries and frameworks definitely have their place in your project, but taking those dependencies should never be taken lightly. Should you endeavor to write your own front-end UI framework or a back-end dependency injection container? No, that's a waste of time, and you probably won't be good at it. Should you take a dependency on some package that you could write yourself in 17 lines of code? No, because those kinds of trivial dependencies can "break the Internet." The reality is that you need to look at the cost-benefit ratio of taking these dependencies, because sometimes the shortcuts don't save as much time as you'll use later on supporting something you don't own.


Remote work works

posted by Jeff | Monday, February 13, 2017, 11:00 AM | comments: 0

Facebook kindly reminded me recently of my start for my first 100% remote gig, and it occurs to me now that I've been doing it for four of the last five years. The break occurred during my contract year at SeaWorld corporate. That was a fun year, and while I didn't mind the commute, there's no reason I could not have done the same job remotely.

I've had teams composed of people from Seattle to Tampa. The distance has never been a deterrent to getting work done. The technology to collaborate and make things happen is pretty mature, and it has been for a long time. I see my coworkers every single day, even though my current team is spread out all over Florida (plus Atlanta and soon, Oklahoma City). Despite the distance, I feel like I know them pretty well. Colocation may have some benefits, but honestly, they're limited to being able to go out for lunch together.

I still found it weird a couple of years ago when Yahoo decided to end remote work. Think about what that means: Everyone had to live in a more expensive place, Yahoo had to pay for real estate in an expensive market, people who bailed had to be replaced at enormous cost, morale took a hit. The company line was that they wanted higher levels of collaboration, but as someone who has delivered outstanding work with distributed teams, I call nonsense on that one. I think it was based on the desire to command and control. The problem is that there's no truth to that scenario. Physically seeing someone in a seat is not indicative of their ability to do the job. In fact, the thing I've been saying about remote work for years is the opposite: When you're remote, the only thing you really have to show for your work is results (or lack thereof). That's a pretty powerful motivator to do your job well.

There are benefits for the worker that go beyond the basic flexibility of time management. You don't lose literally weeks of your life to time spent commuting. (A half-hour each way commute sucks 7.5 weeks of your year away from you.) Heck, that's good for your employer too, because I think generally one agrees that time not spent commuting ends up being time spent working. You're not using energy to move your car. Even with Diana working part-time and me occasionally going to the office, we scarcely drive 600 miles per month. We could probably get away with one car about 95% of the time.

I'm not opposed to commuting, but remote work makes so much sense.

Now, it's not all perfect. I have two related challenges. First, I don't always respect boundaries in terms of time. I've been that crappy dad who has asked my kid to not bother me at 6, 90 minutes before his bedtime, and I don't like myself for that. Second, I don't move around enough, and I'm making a lot of poor decisions about exercise. Sure, I could go walk a few miles in the morning, but I talk myself into knocking out some email as soon as I get up. That's dumb.


The people in your path that make you want to be more

posted by Jeff | Friday, February 10, 2017, 1:00 PM | comments: 0

As my friends all know, I have a Hamilton problem. I'm not listening to it as much now, but as one of the more exceptional pieces of art created in my lifetime (I don't think I'm overselling it), it sure has opened up a lot of things to think about in terms of history, finding our place in the world, the way our government works, the way we as humans affect each other. So I was struck by an interview that 60 Minutes re-aired and updated a bit with Lin-Manuel Miranda, when he mentioned that it's often the crossing of other people in our lives, in his case Alexander Hamilton, centuries after he died, that inspire us to be more. That's really profound.

Indeed, it's easy for most of us to encounter people and wonder, "What am I really doing with my life?" I've written countless times before that scope doesn't matter that much. I think that frankly if you can raise a child and not screw them up too much, you've already achieved one of the hardest things ever regardless of whether or not anyone recognizes you for it. But sometimes people still challenge you, whether it's in person, in books, in the past or the present. Sometimes the people may not even be real, as a work of fiction.

Like a lot of things in life, I don't believe that this is simply the result of randomness (though it may help). You can make this situation happen for yourself if you choose. I live by the idea that you're only as good as the people you surround yourself, so that's part of it. Beyond that, you seek out others who make things happen. You read books, especially more non-fiction. You study history and its most interesting people. There is a lot to draw on out there, but you have to want to see it.

If the world can get through the next decade or so, beyond all of the willful ignorance, the optimist in me sees a renaissance. Creative, driven people can and will solve problems. Knowledge, learning, science will be celebrated. I think our humanity depends on it, and we can be motivated to do it.