A taste of contentment

posted by Jeff | Thursday, October 25, 2007, 1:07 PM | comments: 3

I rolled out of bed at 9 this morning and it was fantastic. The sun was shining and the wind was causing the siding on the house to make that comforting sound it does. Cosmo immediately started bugging me for food.

Like Linda, I've come to realize that I'm battling a touch of SAD again. Everything in my life is pretty kick ass, and yet I've been feeling kind of down and lethargic. I'll freely admit that this time of year, specifically this week, brings a certain reminder of loss with it (Stephanie and I were married Oct. 27), but I think I'm mostly at peace with that. It's more the weather, combined with working in that fucking dungeon of a dark office.

But this morning was quite wonderful. I logged on to check e-mail, cracked the back door for fresh air while the fire place was on, and just let that sun lift me up. After showering I was eager to get out into the world and did a little grocery shopping. Working at home rules. ;)

This reminds me so much of the summer I wrote my book, and how every day I would just smile and marvel that this is what I was doing. I didn't have to go anywhere or meet someone's expectations, I just worked at my own pace, and I was free to read, listen to music, play video games... whatever I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it. And while that sounds like a fantasy, I still managed to write a book in the process, and maintain my sites in what was their most profitable year to date.

That's usually the point where my mind makes a different turn and starts beating itself up over why it hasn't come up with some new clever idea to keep doing that. But today at least, I'm not thinking down that road at all.

There are a lot of exciting things going on in the immediate future, and I'm finally willing to give myself credit for making them happen. I don't see that as a lack of humility, I see it as empowering yourself to keep on keeping on.



October 25, 2007, 6:22 PM #

I just had a conversation with a friend about this exact topic. It's happening a lot. My thought is that because it gets darker earlier in the day and we all are indoors more due to the cold. We aren't as active and we don't really soak up the sun.

I know I haven't been to the gym in a few weeks, so my activity is down, and I work in the office and in my dark house. Time to get out more and soak up the sun while enjoying fresh air.


October 25, 2007, 7:12 PM #

The extra darkness sucks, especially for those of us who have no choice but to go to work. I leave in darkness and especially those nights I have to stop by mom's, I get home in darkness.

I'm lucky, though, that I have a window in my office and on days like today when the sun is shining, I spend my breaks outside soaking up the sun.

But as I said in my earlier post, my poor eating habits and lack of exercise doesn't help much either. So hopefully getting back on track with those two things will also help.


October 25, 2007, 9:39 PM #

I know what you mean. Today marks the 5-year "anniversary" of my separation. As much as I have healed and grown to a good place about things, the memories still creep back. Fall has always been an interesting season for me that way and usually when I make the most drastic life changes.

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