I rolled out of bed at 9 this morning and it was fantastic. The sun was shining and the wind was causing the siding on the house to make that comforting sound it does. Cosmo immediately started bugging me for food.
Like Linda, I've come to realize that I'm battling a touch of SAD again. Everything in my life is pretty kick ass, and yet I've been feeling kind of down and lethargic. I'll freely admit that this time of year, specifically this week, brings a certain reminder of loss with it (Stephanie and I were married Oct. 27), but I think I'm mostly at peace with that. It's more the weather, combined with working in that fucking dungeon of a dark office.
But this morning was quite wonderful. I logged on to check e-mail, cracked the back door for fresh air while the fire place was on, and just let that sun lift me up. After showering I was eager to get out into the world and did a little grocery shopping. Working at home rules. ;)
This reminds me so much of the summer I wrote my book, and how every day I would just smile and marvel that this is what I was doing. I didn't have to go anywhere or meet someone's expectations, I just worked at my own pace, and I was free to read, listen to music, play video games... whatever I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it. And while that sounds like a fantasy, I still managed to write a book in the process, and maintain my sites in what was their most profitable year to date.
That's usually the point where my mind makes a different turn and starts beating itself up over why it hasn't come up with some new clever idea to keep doing that. But today at least, I'm not thinking down that road at all.
There are a lot of exciting things going on in the immediate future, and I'm finally willing to give myself credit for making them happen. I don't see that as a lack of humility, I see it as empowering yourself to keep on keeping on.