Being a dad

I know this makes me sound a little like a poopy pants, but Fathers Day is one of those days I generally categorize as a "greeting card holiday." It just feels like something made up to sell greeting cards. I would also say that you don't really get recognition just for procreating. I mean, I've been thinking about that act pretty much all of the time since I turned 12! That's hardly an achievement.

For me, I consider every day a gift to be Simon's dad. That sounds like a cliche, I know, but when I look at all of the suboptimal situations that many parents and children deal with, I don't take it for granted that I have a healthy little family. I am extraordinarily grateful for every day.

Being a dad has given me purpose that I didn't have before. Mind you, I don't feel like it has replaced any part of my life, but I'm me plus this. It's strange to look at the things that make up your life, and wonder how you can add something that adds so many demands, and brings you so much joy.

Simon is so many things to me. He's extra glue between me and Diana. He's a constant challenge. He's a great photography subject. He reactivates my earliest memories. He's a wrestling partner. He's my son. It never stops being weird to say that.

I'm hesitant to take a lot of fatherhood credit because Diana plays a much bigger role in parenthood. Sure, that sounds a little like I'm falling into 1940's gender roles, but half of Simon's waking hours are exclusively with his mom, the other half are almost all with both of us. Sure, I'm the one with the income right now, but being a good parent is not, in my view, something you can buy. As such, I feel sometimes that I play a disproportionate role. I feel like I've got the easy part (except when work is frustrating or otherwise not fun).

I think what I really like most is that I smile a lot more. Like today, he climbed into the spare bed at nap time, and I crawled in next to him. He just looked over at me and giggled. Or in the afternoon, just watching him play with his blocks caused me to smile, in awe of the way he's growing up. It's the simplest things.

Being a dad is a wonderful privilege. Few things in my life have been this awesome.