I wonder what it is that makes me feel so uneasy about my job and career this time of year. I get really unsettled and want to do... something else. And that's weird, because for the most part I like the people I work with, I like the company and the work is (most of the time) interesting. God knows the money is good as well.
So what's wrong with a person who has all of the things that allegedly matter when it comes to a job, and still isn't sure it's what they want? A part of me thinks it's a cyclical self-evaluation tool developed in the times I got laid-off and did contract work, with the true understanding that a job should feed the soul. I know most people get those feelings and just push them aside, but once you've left a job with no specific plan and still felt it was better for you, I guess you approach it differently.
Another part of me thinks the entrepreneur is trying to get out, egged on by the constant recruiter calls that create an obvious safety net if things don't work out. Unfortunately, that side of me is directionless. The fact that I can't seem to deliver a project I've worked on and off on for several years now probably adds to the anxiety.
I think it's just a phase. I did the same thing last year, and went on to have a pretty good year at work. Mind you, I only used the average "meets expectations" in my performance self-evaluation, but I was involved in some really cool things.
Oh how I miss the simplicity of just being.
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