Diana and I have had some really deep and serious conversations lately. It borders on meaning of life type stuff, typically reserved for people having a midlife crisis. Research shows only a small percentage of people actually have a "crisis," typically in their mid-40's, but I think it's a safe bet that everyone, as they close in on that age, start to ask a lot of questions about how best to live the second half of their lives.
At 42 and almost-39, we're not quite there, but getting married and having a child in our mid to late 30's (Diana was 40 when Simon was born) definitely frames your view on life in a different way. I'm not suggesting it's better or worse, it's just different.
Most of our conversations surround career and location. Location is a hard one to think about, because we've really struggled with the absence of Seattle in our lives. At the same time, having a real summer with hot weather, driving trips and Cedar Point, we're having the fantastic kinds of times that we couldn't have out west. I'm not even sure that I would describe us as being unhappy, we just aren't sure what to do with this state.
Career is trickier. For me, I'm at a pretty great stage where I work in a field that is in high demand, and my skill set is diverse enough that I can start to think more about doing exactly the kinds of things I want, instead of taking what's available. The funny thing is, I'm not always sure what I want to do when I grow up!
Imagine where Diana is. My fiercely independent better half stopped working for the first time in her life to concentrate on being a mom. While she loves that job, she doesn't want it to be the only thing she does. However, being out of the workforce for a number of years makes life tricky, and that's just in the kinds of corporate work situations that are more common. She's been out of theater even longer, and even if she could go back, what would the price be in terms of family life? I don't envy her.
Of course, the overreaching theme rests around what it means to have our little family, and how we allocate our time. We're very Simon focused since he's so young, and we certainly don't want to lose ourselves in just being parents. We have to be spouses, friends and generally social people beyond that. We're learning more about what we need to do to make sure we are generally well rounded, for the sake of our happiness.
The good thing is that I don't see any Porsches, hookers or blow in our future. I wouldn't rule out some big vacations, radical relocations or maybe some tattoos, but overall I think we're heading into the second act with our heads on straight.
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