I watch a lot of documentaries. I hate the faux-reality nonsense on network TV, and social media is tired. But I do enjoy a good doc on a great many things. I watched the one on HBO about the band Counting Crows, and there was a lot of talk about how fame can actually make you completely miserable. That seems counterintuitive, given the money that likely comes with the fame. But this story has been repeated forever in memoirs and docs and biographies.
That got me to thinking about all the different ways that this seems to play out. Rich people complain about an unbalanced life, with too much work, or pressures to maintain a certain lifestyle. People in oppressive work scenarios for very little money, oddly enough, face the same thing, without fancy cars. Then there are countless psychological issues, like abusive childhood, PTSD and mental illness, that make life hard. Don't forget countless relationships challenges, from divorce to raising children. There are so many things that can make it hard to be happy.
I forget who originally said it, but there is much wonder and beauty in the world, and despite how things seem, this is technically the best it has ever been. Given that, how could it be that everyone is so miserable?
A recurring theme in my therapy sessions is that there's this thing, and if I could just learn how to manage it, I would be so happy. While we try to figure those puzzles out, it's clear that there's always something. That's a daunting observation, that maybe life really is suffering, and the goal is to survive it. That's pretty dark. If I've developed any skill, it's to have my mind build up defenses against that sort of thinking.
Naturally, we compare our lives to those of others, and look for perspective about how things really are. Sometimes that's hard, because one can rarely empathize with a billionaire, for example. We can probably empathize with someone in deep poverty, but then we do so as a way to disqualify the legitimacy of our own struggles. That ain't healthy either.
I guess the point is that everyone has their shit. We'd all get along more if we recognized that, balanced against the privileges and opportunities we've had. Ultimately, we have to make our own happiness, but we don't need to make it harder for others.
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