Plenty of anxiety to go around

posted by Jeff | Monday, July 15, 2013, 9:31 PM | comments: 0

Aside from the house hunting, I was grateful for a little fun this weekend (even poor tennis playing on my part), because real life hit pretty hard today.

The first day of work was, as you would expect, not one where anyone can really add value since you don't really have the whole picture about what's going on. In fact, I would compare this gig to going to a party where you don't know anyone. You spend some time in one corner of the room and observe the dynamic for awhile before you start jumping into it all. At the same time, the clock is ticking, because it's a contract gig. Almost every contract job I've had has been for some specific project, regardless of the level of responsibility, meaning there was some specific outcome you were headed toward. This one is more broad, so when someone mentioned something about the first quarter of next year, I thought, I don't know what that looks like. They could renew the contract, make it full-time, or not. I could win the lottery, or they could decide they don't like me, or I don't like them. None of those outcomes are scary, it's just that I'm looking for something more certain to cling to when everything else in life is in motion.

Living in a hotel already sucks. The cats are all cramped up in here, and will be until Friday. The view of the mammoth car dealership next door is not scenic. It's just kind of a depressing and lonely place to come back to. I'm trying not to go out for every meal, but I'm not sure how much I can stay put. The lack of human interaction isn't fun, and I find myself using the TV for company.

I have mounting anxiety about Diana and Simon driving down. It's not a super difficult drive, I'm just more concerned about other people being dangerous drivers around them. I'll likely spend much of Thursday and Friday distracted and worried about them.

Diana is in a frenzy leading up to packing day tomorrow, and I'm sure she's tense about the drive as well. Experience dictates we're not fun to be around just prior to a move, but at least the last moves we were unpleasant together! Simon has really picked a poor time to demonstrate how 3 he is, unfortunately. He's really a handful lately. That said, I'm glad they got one last visit to Cedar Point today. I just wish I was there to help.

I tried to engage a little tonight in our online project, but I couldn't do it. Between visits to Seattle and Orlando, and then the planning leading up to the move, I ended up spending only about four weeks total on it, at around 20 hours each week. Not what I hoped for. I'm still going to try and make something of it this week, and then again once we're sleeping in our own beds again.

So there are two events to get us closer to normal. First is getting the keys to the rental house, about the same time that Diana and Simon arrive. Second is the actual arrival of our stuff. There's no real time pressure at that point, though Diana is fierce when it comes to unpacking and getting settled. Until then, I'm going to bitch and moan about it a little, even though it's all expected, by choice, and hopefully to a better long-term outcome.


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