When your parent remarries

posted by Jeff | Saturday, July 30, 2016, 10:26 PM | comments: 0

My mom got married today to a gentleman from the next "village" (the subdivisions of The Villages). This comes a few years after my step-dad passed away. I imagine it would be weird to be dating in your 60's, but the cool thing about The Villages is that everyone there is retirement age. I'm happy for her, and that environment has been good to her in so many ways.

Diana's dad is also getting married later this year. She lost her mom shortly before we met for the first time, and in fact we were connected online just before that. I never got to meet her, but her family assures me that she would totally have understood my personality and sense of humor. I think that's a compliment. My new step-mother-in-law was a friend long before this, and also knew her mom. I'm glad they're making it official.

When I got divorced, a decade ago, I was really dating for the first time. I mean, obviously Stephanie and I dated, but I didn't seriously date anyone else. (I know... people who knew me at the time may debate this, but long-distance puppy love and random make-outs aren't really functional relationships.) There was a weird conclusion that I had reached when talking about my fears and apprehension about dating to my therapist at the time: All relationships end in a break-up or death. How's that for morbid? I know, it sounds horrible, but really, there was something completely freeing about acknowledging that. It's not at all romantic, but it's a small and finite list of things that could happen.

As it turns out, there is something kind of romantic about this. If you lose your spouse, probably one of the worst pains you can endure, and you find someone you can love enough to marry after that, then lightning has struck twice. That's pretty awesome. I feel like I've been incredibly lucky to have all of my serious relationships, but there's something to be said for having another chance, especially later in life, following incredibly awful circumstances.


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